Stream o' consciousness

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    29.6.09

    OKINAWAVILLE

    If you haven't been following the twitter stream or the face book posts, I am in receipt of orders to Okinawa.

    Which means I have a lot of work to do, explain the moving process to the kids, Try to get the wife to maintain a positive mental outlook on the move to somewhere she has an aversion to, get the house prepped up to sell, pets vaccinated, Schools signed up for, Turnover with my replacement (as if anyone could replace me, HA!) and eventually cars sold and family and pets transported overseas.

    I will be back on a MEU, this time the command element though. Which I know will be different than my last experience. Bigger ship, better chow, maybe even working air conditioning.

    Anyway I am a little excited about the adventure, while trying to maintain my sights on the many tasks at hand leading up to it.

    I am also really curious to find out what the com Zazen community is like over there.



    22.6.09

    BAD NEWS GOOD NEWS

    OK, OK, I know we shouldn't judge bad and good.
    But this is for fun since I find my time with a rare moment to blog.

    Bad news- I missed my 0600 flight and am on stand by for the next one for a few hours even though I was at the airport an hour early. Note to self, get to the airport an hour and a half early next time. United Airlines, you under staff your check in lines and blame me for not getting to the airport soon enough. Nice. I predict more bailout cash headed your way for your most socialist business practices.

    Good news- I'm flying out PDX. Got to be one of the best airports (aside from having to be home to UA) to have to wait around in. Thanks for the free wifi and the coolest TSA I have ever been screened by.

    Bad news- I forgot to pick up a 9 pin female to 9 pin female parallel cable I need for the job.

    Good news- That's the last job on this trip and I have plenty of time to find one.

    Bad news- I missed out on my morning sitting.

    Good news- I have plenty of time to sit right now...

    Bad news- I have not had a lot of time for Blogging lately.

    Good news- I got time right now.

    Bad news- I am so sleep deprived from having to get to the airport so early for the flight I missed that I haven't thought of anything better than this to post.

    Good news- I have awesome readers who will leave me kind comments anyways.

    21.6.09

    Hannah in Buddha's robe

    17.6.09

    GOOD READING FROM NELLALOU

    NellaLou, who writes the blog “Enlightenment Ward" recently had a post that realy resonated with me.

    I would like to encourage anyone reading my journal here to go read it here: A Dialogue with Cruelty

    OK, go read it really. I’ll wait….

    Done yet?

    OK.

    Now the thing that I saw in this post that I liked so much is that for me it is totally spot on. I recognize not only that I have the capacity to be cruel but that I am cruel more often than I would care to admit.

    I’ll even go out on a limb and say it can come up pretty much when anything I find disagreeable comes up. A little more softening is still required. While I have been working on not being disagreeable to a myriad of circumstances there is another angle here that I want to address.

    Responsibility.

    Now the root of responsibility is response, or respond. I have found it useful to look deeply into how that response comes into action.

    1. I have a tightly held view or opinion. (a preexisting condition)
    2. Something comes up to confront my tightly held view. (My Buddha is better than your Buddha)
    3. I respond, not out of compassion, but out of defending my tightly held view.

    Now I know those are not the best examples for everyone in everyday life, but I think it gets the point across.

    I take a little longer to respond nowadays. Not so much thinking abot the actual responce, but where that responce is comming from. I know this frustrates my wife as I take a little longer to answer, but I am pretty certain it is for the best.

    11.6.09

    NOT CELEBRATING PASSOVER

    No I am not talking about the religious holiday.
    I actually know nothing about the religious holiday.
    Not even really sure what religion it is for…


    In the Marine Corps Religion celebrating Passover is generally a snarky remark related to a Marine who is eligible for promotion not being selected to the next grade. Although in years past, since 2004 if I recall correctly, I have dutifully celebrated Passover. That tradition has ended. I was forwarded a copy of the select grade roster and found my name on it. Yes. Mother Marine Corps has finally deemed to let this Devil Dog run the show as a Gunnery Sergeant. As a result the count down to unemployment calendar has been removed, as now I have a choice on weather or not to retire at twenty years.

    I am a little unbalanced in my joy right now.

    SITTING WITH AND WITHOUT THE ZEN MASTERS

    Ok by Zen masters in this case I am referring to my daughters, and here particularly I am talking about Zen Master Hannah, who joins me pretty much every morning for sitting.

    This is just a personal observation I have had not sure if there is anything to be gained by it or not. Just what I have experienced, exemplified by my sitting on Tuesday evening which was alone.

    So here is the set up. I got home a bit late from work and as a result was not able to attend Hannah’s Karate class. This left me home alone so I decided to take the time to get my zen on so to speak with an extra sitting. The thing is I could not really get into, well, body and mind dropping off. This is weird. Because I usually can get into this really easily even with distractions when sitting with my daughter; while before she started sitting with me it would take a lot of sitting to get to that state.

    Now I do recognize that there are other elements at play here, for example sitting first thing in the morning vs right after coming home from work, but I just kind of noticed this other night, and now am kind of stewing over it. Yes, I know, attachment and all… But this is the kind of thing that normally only happens for me on a retreat I know a lot of people don’t really like to talk about what goes on in their sitting but I guess I am curious if anyone else has had a similar experience and if they would be bold enough to share.

    9.6.09

    SUICIDE!

    Every now and again I read something where someone sounds suicidal or an article about suicide or heck in the Marines we have annual suicide awareness training.

    As I understand it; most people at some point in their lives have some kind of suicidal thoughts. I guess I had more of a tendency towards homicidal thoughts, not that I think that is better or anything. But I can understand how a person might want to end their life even if I don’t agree with it and could never condone it except under the rarest of circumstances.

    I am ok with for example a person with a painful and terminal cancer, having made peace with his or her life, squared away worldly affairs and all that, ending their life. That’s fine.

    What I have a hard time dealing with, is when a person with all of their compound reasons decides to “take the easy way out.”

    I could say that’s cheating. And yeah, it is usually pretty unfair to those around you too unless you happen to be in the situation above.

    The ripple effect of your actions can be really harmful to others for one. Who is going to clean up your mess? What about the person who discovers your corpse? The people who have to sort through your things who probably loved you… It can go on and on.

    And what about the potential lost? Yes, the suicidal person might be suffering at the moment and feel overwhelmed and it might feel like the world is shoveling dirt on your head but that is how we grow and become stronger. By overcoming the suffering you incur over and over again you can become wiser and more powerful. So as the dirt gets shoveled on your head just shake it off, tamp it down under your feet, and guess what, you’re a few centimeters taller now.

    I know to someone who is considering suicide that sounds a lot easier said than done.
    But I firmly believe that everyone can be useful and that suicide robs the individual and those around that individual from the possibility of growth. The posibility for knowing the joy of appreciation for thinge even as they are.

    To get into what some might think is hocus pocus stuff, what about what happens after you die? Most people will tell you they just don’t know. Some research has said that the consciousness goes on after the brain is dead. So if that is true, and you kill yourself in an angry agitated state, will your consciousness go on in an angry agitated state? Woah. Maybe that is what hell is eh? And if you are an old school Buddhist who accepts the possibility of rebirth, heck the human realm is where it is at, the place we are most likely to take the Buddha’s path to enlightenment.

    Any way, if you’re thinking about offing yourself, please take a break from those thoughts and call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK it is a suicide prevention network of 132 crisis centers in the United States, that provides a 24-hour, toll-free hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. After dialing 1-800-273-TALK, the caller is routed to their nearest crisis center to receive immediate counseling and local mental health referrals. The Lifeline supports people who call for themselves or someone they care about.

    8.6.09

    TEA, FISH, O2, AND THOUGHTS ABOUT CARS

    Previously I blasted the Japan Green Tea co.,ltd for having some really awful Sencha.
    While I am not recanting on this, their sencha tastes like compost they do have a product that is tasty and fit for human consumption. They sell it as Green Tea Health and Wellness- 100% high quality green tea powder -

    This stuff is great for the tea lover on the go. Just put a packet of this powdered goodness in any bottle of water and you got a bottle of wonderful green tea goodness. They should realy pay me for that plug, but it is good enough to stand on its own merit.

    In other news a predator came by the pond the other evening and cleaned it out pretty good. A couple of wiser goldfish must have his under some rocks because they had pulled a disappearing act. But that gave me an excuse to rescue some more feeder fish from cramped living and certain doom at the local Petsmart. After I replaced the battery on the motion sensor activated sprinkler which had died over the winter… I also at the pleading of the girls ,in song like harmony no less, picked up one small koi, which cost more than the dozen “feeder fish” put together.

    But I lucked out and got some pretty colorful feeder fish. Mixtures of orange and white and red and white, Pleasant to observe. So that’s cool.

    Got my vehicle registration renewal in the mail for the Lancer. I need an emissions test, which would not be a big deal accept the O2 sensor is bad which I will have to get fixed before I take it in for the test. Boo. My last Mitsubishi’s O2 sensor went bad too. I don’t think I will buy another Mitsubishi.

    This has me wondering; with all their troubles any American auto makers will make a car worth driving to try and stir up some confidence in their abilities?
    I mean Chrysler had some good ones but they were priced out of my league. I don’t think Chevy or ford have made anything (affordable) worth driving but trucks since the 50’s. Still it sure would be nice…

    Thanks for looking!